Intimacy

So I thought the point of this missions trip would be to change the world! I wanted to make a difference. To help. To serve. Which are all good ambitions.
But God has taught me something different. He has been teaching me the importance of intimacy with my Creator. There is nothing like it.

Through my other posts, you can probably see that I am learning that God cares about the HEART. About motives. Yes, if we love Him we will obey his commandments. But He makes it clear that He wants willing hearts, not workers out of obligation.

Sometimes in life it's easy to feel like we aren't doing anything important. We have our everyday tasks, then we go to bed and do it all again. It can seem trivial and meaningless. But there is good  news- it doesn't have to be!

1 Peter 1:5-8
Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

When we are in prayer and submitted to the Spirit, we can be increasing in these qualities. Meaning no matter where you are in life, you are neither useless nor unfruitful. You are getting to know the Lord more.

I want to encourage you to do something. Set aside time, each day, to get REAL with God. Get alone, and open up your heart to the Spirit. Sing, cry, dance- do whatever! But open up your heart to your Savior. Let Him flood you with peace. Bask in His presence. There is no place like it. I've read many books telling me to do this, and I would do it here and there, but there is nothing like consistant intimacy with the Lord. We are His bride, His children, His beloved. He actually WANTS to spend time with us! This blows my mind.

But it's up to us to take time out of our busy days to really kneel before Him and get intimate.

1 John 4:9-10
By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

What incredible love!
It has become my passion to serve people. And though that sounds good, I let it come before loving God. So though I came into this ready to serve people, God has gently humbled me and showed me how I was wrong. He has taught me how to love Him first so that I can Better serve His people that He loves so dearly.

Matthew 22:36-39
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Home-stay in Lautoka

This past Wednesday-Friday I had the wonderful opportunity of doing a home-stay in Lautoka with a lovely woman named Joanna and her family. It was so cool to see how they lived and to be shown around Fiji by a true Fijian. I took my first bucket shower (which consisted of standing on the porch dumping a bucket of water over my head), and tried many new foods! The shower was actually pretty cool- I did it under the stars and coconut trees and it was very refreshing :)
The place where I stayed had one huge room where all the beds were (Fijians often live with extended family)

You can't see the whole room, but there were at least 10 beds- they jokingly called it their hostile. Then on the other side was their outside sink/woodstove and inside was the kerosene stove. They had to move everything out of that side of the house because of the flooding (my facebook album is of my time here- the people I met wanted me to post the pictures and tag them!).

It was a wonderful experience, and I got to see a lot of really cool things- I got to visit where Joanna's mom works, which is The Golden Home (like a nursing home). We got there in time for their exercises!!!

I also got to visit The Special School, which was a school for special needs kids. Joanna's cousin Soko works there and it is a labor of love. She works with a little boy named Patrick who has cerebral palsy and some other conditions... He can't feed himself or change himself... and doesn't respond at all when you talk to him. When I asked her if it was tiring just pouring so much in but not getting even one thanks, she simply said,"that's what love is." She has incredible faith and endurance and Christ's love is so evident in her life.

We also visited the market- the biggest place downtown!

There were many other adventures, and I loved the whole experience, but I think my favorite part was jumping off the rocks into this beautiful river with some of Joanna's rugby friends. It was pretty high up- I screamed the whole way down my first jump! I wish I could've gotten some better pictures but it was getting dark and my camera battery died

The last night there, they made a huge special feast for me because I was their guest, and we had a time of encouragement and prayer. I was so blessed by their words and their love. I know they made many sacrifices in order to make me feel comfortable and welcome. I pray a special blessing on that family. I have a lot to learn from them.

I came to Fiji to serve but have been blessed and so humbly served instead. This family reminded me of Galations 5:13
"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."

This will be a quick post, but I just love God's creativity. I took a picture the other day that was accidentally zoomed in but I didn't know. It looks funny, but I love looking at the striking difference between 2 human beings. How awesome that both are created in God's image!

Psalm 8:3-4, 9
When I consider Your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained; what is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him?
Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Fiji Floods

So I can't remember what day... (sad, I know), but we went out to do clothing/food distribution to some of the villages who were hit by the flood.
We had a really good talk about "helping" the poor and those in need. I just started reading the book "When Helping Hurts," so it's been on my mind a lot. And in Salisbury it was always a popular conversation with my roommates and CRU's community outreach team.
So rather than going in thinking we are heroes, helping these poor people who can't help themselves, we tried to go in with an attitude of "hand up" not "hand out."
We don't want to create a dependency and we don't want to rob these people of their dignity.  We just want to help get them on their two feet again.
I met two really sweet kids- Archina and Moshe.

When I asked them what was hardest about the flood's damage, they said that it ruined their school books and supplies. I hadn't even thought of that! I asked if they even needed clothes or food. They said yes, it would be helpful, but I wish we had thought to bring educational supplies.
Some of the villages still looked pretty bad. Everything was still sitting out to dry. (see chairs on top of roof!)

It was a good day, and I'm glad we were able to try and help.

Today, we went to a friend's house to visit and play with the children! It was such a blessing. There is a girl staying there who has become a believer, and it was so awesome to hear her share about her personal relationship with Jesus. She is truly in love with her Savior. We all had a wonderful time. The kids especially loved playing helicopter....

and trying on sunglasses! :)

And I got to try some pretty awesome fruit this week called soursop. It tastes like sweet tarts with the consistency of gum. I'm in love. Isla likes it too!

I'll end with another thing that we've been talking about recently- Matthew 6:19-21
 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
-It goes along with the 1 Peter passage I referenced before- all of our actions will be tested with fire. Those that we did for the Lord remain, those we did selfishly burn up. And at the beginning of Matthew 6 it talks about HOW we should give to the poor, and how we should pray (guess I shouldn't of written about the clothing distribution...!) But in all seriousness, God knows our hearts, and knows why we do the things we do. Once again, it is our heart that really counts, and the Lord knows our motives. 

Praise God for his grace and patience with us!!! It blows my mind to think about how much He loves us when He knows how wretched our hearts are. What a wonderful God we serve.  

Momi Bay

So this past week I got to spend in Momi Bay, which is around 45 minutes from where I'm staying in Naisoso. There is a kindergarten there that has 2 fabulous teachers, but one of them was away because she is doing an internship-type thing at another school to get her teacher's certificate. She said she had been praying for a helper for Kesa, the other teacher! So that was encouraging to see how God had planned that all out :)

I had a truly wonderful time. It was great getting to know the kids and Kesa. I also learned how to cook some pretty yummy food!
The kindergarten was so great. I wish I could upload a video of the kids singing, but it would seriously take forever, so here's one of the pics

There were about 16 kids each day, and I helped with the reading lesson, and then every other day rotated between history and science. For history, I talked about America, obviously! One lesson I taught was about snow and I had them make paper snowflakes (of course I didn't think to grab my camera). It was so funny watching them try to imagine what it was like. I told them it felt like when you open the freezer... only outside! Then for science, I did lessons on exercise! Which of course, thrilled me to death and the kids loved getting some energy out! I think they enjoyed learning how to do jumping jacks :)
The best part about the Kindy is that they openly share the Gospel. It was truly a blessing to hear these kids sing praises to Jesus and recite their memory verses. Keep praying for them!

Kesa also took me to the beach one evening to see the sunset. It was beautiful

...I also wanted to share some things that I learned this week that have been on my heart. On the drive to Momi, Ray (one of the missionaries) and I were talking about what I had been blogging about before. He said that he saw one of my struggles as focusing so much on what I DO rather than who I AM. Which I hate to admit, is so stinking true. As an American, and even a Health Educator, my natural inclination is to quantify everything to measure if it is successful or not. How many programs can we have? What surveys can we give? How can we give more things to help more people? How can I create the biggest change? Not that wanting to create change or have programs is bad. But rather than focus on quantity, focus on quality. Let God determine what "success" is. I came across these verses this week and it's really hit me.

1 Corinthians 3:5-15

 ⁵ What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. ⁶ I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. ⁷ So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. ⁸ Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own ^[b]reward according to his own labor. ⁹ For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s ^[c]field, God’s building.
 ¹⁰ According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it. ¹¹ For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, ^[d]precious stones, wood, hay, straw, ¹³ each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test ^[e]the quality of each man’s work. ¹⁴ If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

So first of all, it's GOD's job to do the growing. We can't measure that and count it as successful to us. And secondly, God cares about the Quality of our work.


The Lord isn't looking for us to do a bunch of things, take some pictures to show how good we are, then check it off our "good things we've done as Christians" list. He cares about our hearts. He cares about our relationship with Him. So some things I've been asking myself...

Am I doing things out of love?
Am I sharing the word of God in action and in truth?
Do I care more about quality or quantity?
And do I help people to make myself feel good, or because I truly love them because they are God's awesome creation?

Just some things to think about. And with that, I will leave you with some pretty adorable puppy pictures from Momi.

So cute! By the way, meet Setaita. A fun-loving little girl with a big smile and an even bigger heart.

Encouraged.

Thanks everyone for your prayers, wisdom, and encouragement. God has truly blessed me through you. I woke up this morning and was praying, and I feel like God is humbling me. Because every time I think I've got it, God gently, and sometimes not so gently, shows me I'm wrong.

For example- my freshman year of college I decided that the only way to be the best Christian possible was by being a missionary overseas. Who knows how I came up with that, but I was convinced. Signed up to go overseas to Brazil that summer, but tore my ACL for the third time and couldn't go. Learned that I could be a missionary in PT, at the Doctor's, anywhere, in any situation!

This trip, which was initially West Bank for 5 mos, I came in with the mentality that consistency and relationship building are the ways to be effective. I have a feeling that God is going to show me otherwise. That my purpose is solely to GLORIFY HIM. And that can look like a lot of different things.

 

This morning I was reading and came to 1 Peter 4:11
 "Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom beliongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."
AMEN!

Some thoughts.

So I must say, I'm pretty confused. I'm so thankful to be here, but I'm not quite sure why I'm here or even how I ended up here. When planning for this semester, I wanted to do something missions-related that was a little more long term. While short term missions can certainly be beneficial, after working at Booth Street and realizing the importance of consistancy in relationships, I felt I would be more useful if I could actually develop relationships with people that I would be working with. But, my plans fell through and God has opened the door to 6 weeks in Fiji. Which is great... just so confusing. Because I'm doing exactly what I wanted to avoid.
Sometimes it's hard not to feel like I should've just stayed in Salisbury with the people I was already working with. I'm sure many missionaries feel that way, and if everyone listened to that lie we would have no missionaries overseas! But it has been something I've been wrestling with. Just wanted to share and ask for prayer, thoughts, advice, anything about short term missions! I know God can work in and through any situation, so I don't want it to come across that I'm limiting God!
Jeremiah 29:11 and Ephesians 2:10 address the fact that God knows what He's doing in our lives!

On a lighter note, the girls and I took a "flower walk" around their neighborhood to pick some of the beautiful flowers growing here in Fiji! 

God is pretty creative, ya??? There were so many more beautiful pictures, but the internet is slow uploading pics so I had to pick my favorites :)
This is my last night in Nadi for a week, and I think that also means my last night with internet. so goodbye until Friday!

Bula!!

Bula from Fiji!! This is my second day here and I'm hoping to officially be over the jet lag! We are 16 hours ahead of you all in Maryland.

I'm staying in Nadi, in a pretty awesome treehouse!! This is the front yard of the Pittman's house, a family whom I have already grown to dearly love. They are wonderful!

Yesterday we went to Momi Bay to a place called House of Light. There are a few things going on there, but my favorite was visiting the kindergarten! So much so, that we asked if they would need help next week and God's timing really is perfect- one of the teachers is leaving that week and was praying for a helper to come! I am excited to go :) I will stay there Sunday afternoon-Friday afternoon, and I don't think I will have internet access.

They are doing a great job there!!
Today was more relaxed, we took a hike through the Fijian jungle behind their house then went for a swim! I also got to go to the market for groceries and just spent some quality time with the Pittman's. I am already dreading the goodbye-they are so wonderful!
Alright, well it's about time I get to bed. Thanks for your prayers!